Metro PD: Close to You

Caught by Surprise

I would lie if I were to say that I don’t like the premise of this story. I like police procedurals as much next person – hell, who am I kidding; I love them far more than the average person. Criminal Intent, CSI, SVU, Chicago PD: you name it, I binge-watched it. Which is why this game should be right up my alley, seeing as it is full of cops, and has crimes to solve while you fall in love. The problem is that I don’t find a single one of the guys visually appealing. While the style is not far from other titles that appeared around the same period, I just don’t see myself engaging with anyone here. It’s the hair. I’m a bit particular about hair, I guess, and these ‘dos just… er, don’t do it for me.

The Lowdown

The MC is a young police officer – a detective – in a quiet station where her main concerns are peeping toms (the game’s vocabulary, not mine; I call them “proto-rapists”) and domestic animals that get lost or stuck in trees. That is, until she suddenly gets transferred to Metro PD, 2nd Unit. She makes her usual bad first impression on the guys, who will obviously think she’s quite clueless. Of course, one of them will come up with an animal to compare her to: apparently, she looks like a capybara. A capybara.

a capybara in wetlands
This. This is what a capybara looks like.

2nd Unit is a bunch of misfits, led by Kirisawa, a good example of the Steadfast Presence. There is some antagonism with 1st Unit, which is made up of characters that are drawn to look highly unattractive. Nomura, who recruited the MC, is the former leader of 2nd Unit and now employed elsewhere within the police apparatus. There will be romance to be developed, and crimes to be solved.

The Guys

  • Kirisawa Hiroshi, leader of 2nd Unit, a Solid Presence and probably Nice Guy. He is clueless about romantic feelings aimed his way.
  • Nomura Tadanobu, former leader of 2nd Unit. The Incorrigible Tease, will flirt with everything and then run after the deed is done.
  • Asano Shusuke, sniper. Honest, no idea. He is half-asleep most of the time. Probably Mr. Dark Mysterious.
  • Hanai Kazusa, the profiler. Perfectionist. Stickler for protocol. Completely tonedeaf.
  • Kyobashi Katsuyuki. Ha! Look at him, with those glasses and everything, looking so inconspicuous. Turns out, he’s the womaniser of the bunch, with a girlfriend for each day of the week. Well, almost, since Wednesday recently quit.
  • Tennoji Yukata, the shortest fuse, the loudest mouth. Works well as part of a comedy duo with the MC. Traumatised by a pink bunny. Don’t ask.
  • Eiki Yachigusa, the young one. Also American in some way. He works for the NYPD and is in Tokyo for training.
  • Kimura Ryohei, forensic specialist. A Genuinely Nice Guy with a dark secret in his past.
  • Himuro Masashi, medical examiner and hater of women. There is always at least one, with usually some fucked-up reason as to why. I don’t know why. I might never know. Even if he is the only one with decent hair.
Relationship Chart

Why would I date you guys?

I kinda wouldn’t. I hate your hair. But Kirisawa’s route was free last week, so I decided to give it a go. And omg, was I pleasantly surprised! The MC is awesome! She might be a bit green, but she’s sassy, she takes the boys’ club on in her stride, and she talks back where needed. Now I’m gonna have to see if there’s somebody else’s hair that I might be able to tolerate. My eyes are on Kyobashi, the scoundrel.

I choose you!

Kirisawa Hiroshi, because the route was on promotion from Voltage after the transfer from the stand-alone app to Love 365.

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